Looking back on my new year resolutions from the last 3 years they have all been the exact same. Meaningless bullet point lists.
- Get Thin
- Eat Healthy
- Become better at…
It goes on and on, all vauge, unmeasurable, unrealistic, time consuming, and sometimes unaforadable. With every new year, the goal is to start on the 1st of January. And with so much pressure for one day that will supposedly change it all. Like the first day of the new year will magickly change every bad or changeable aspect of my life and make me a new person.
Somehow, maybe consciously and definitely sometimes unconsciously I’ve believed that. It’s in all the magazeenes, blogs, and self-help pamphlets that are published during this time and they all say the same old stuff “The New Me”, “New And Improved”, “Be The Best You”, “It’s Time To Change” The same thing different words. Like at the end of every year you have become the worst version of yourself. Thing is that all of the “New Me” content and lists are the expectations of others. This magazine says I should loose weight, that blog says I should dress better. The most refreshing blog post I’ve read this year is a post from A Short Girls World that spoke about why she has stopped working out due to others expectations, which is what partly motivated me to write about this.
The problem I’ve encountered is that the 1st day of a month doesn’t change me and a list of unattainable goals sure as hell doesn’t motivate me further than the 7th.
I’m actually sick of blogs, magazenes, books telling me that I can become a whole new person at the end of every year.
When it’s clearly not working because every year before my goals have been the same. The truth is these goals I’m supposed to attain to aren’t what I actually want to attain to. A lot of them aren’t truly MY goals.
This year the goal is not to set resolutions. Not going to become a WHOLE NEW ME. I’m happy with me as I am actually. I’m not saying there isn’t room for improvenemt. There is always room to make better but the way I think of change in the new year needs to change. I want to become more detailed and outlined with goals this year, I want to give myself space between the goals (one dam change at a time) and I want to give myself the credit I deserve when I’ve achieved it.
SO WHAT AM I DOING: I’m setting realistic goals, I’m detailing them and mapping out how to achieve them. For example, this year I want to be more positive. That’s not my goal, though.
This is… I want to be more positive around my friends.
- Positive attitude toward friends who I don’t always see eye-to-eye with
- Positive words spoken to and about them
- Talking less about friend to friends
I’m literally mapping out my goals for the year, making them very specific and focused so I can attain them.
BUT FIRST: I want to learn to be present. The biggest problem I have with resolutions is that they keep me constantly looking to tomorrow, to the next change.
I want to be fully present in what I’m doing now and the changes I’m making now. New year resolutions start on the first, on Monday, tomorrow. How often do you hear people say “I’ll start the diet on Monday”? The thing is tomorrow never comes. Change isn’t for tomorrow it’s for right now. Putting the piece of F’ing amazing cake down right now. Going to the gym today. This year I’m noting going to focus on empty promises someone else says I should make I’m going to be present, right now and start the improvement this moment. No to resolutions, yes to details.
Photo Cred: AShortGirlsWorld